A Good Balance

As a parent who stays at home, I am constantly learning the fine art of balancing.

Balancing the amount of sugar our children intake per day--mostly none...

...but on days like Easter, we let a Cadbury Egg slip through the old "Insulin Defenses."

The rest of the year is spent balancing the weight of the sugar in a Cadbury Egg against the actual food we eat. Conversations like this are often heard in our home, "A lollipop? Why not a hard boiled egg instead? Gosh, are they ever good!" or "A cookie? I know--a slightly salted rice cake with honey! Now THAT is some good stuff!" Maybe even, "You're wondering where all that candy that your grandparents gave you for Easter is? Well, direct your attention to this trail mix starring our friends, The Dried Cherries!!"

But alas, Easter comes, and with it, 89 hidden eggs in the backyard filled with yellow number five colored candy corn.

So tactic #1: divert their attention while slowly siphoning off the pastel candy corns into their cousin Courtney's basket.

Tactic #2: pretend like we don't see the eggs and maybe just let them think at Easter we find wood chips instead of hidden candy-filled eggs.

So we learn the art of balancing at Easter: while most of the year is full of Quinoa pasta and dried pineapple slices, there will be days full of sugar and fun. And that's ok. Their livers can detox yellow #5 and Cadbury Eggs. Plus, a little sugar is yummy for a kid.

Another lesson in balancing life: a small kitten.

Despite the Poop Clean Up in Aisle Laundry Room, the look on Shiloh's face when our cat, Ree comes in the room is priceless.

The look on Ree's face when Shiloh goes in for the kill is especially priceless.

Having a cat adds to the seemingly endless responsibilities as a mother: cooking three square meals a day plus numerous snacks, cleaning everything but the baseboards, putting away laundry that is never done, and raising two small kids, but when I look back on the "Should We Get This Cat Or Not" decision, it added a small amount to the Work Load--

--but a large amount to the Joy Load.

And that's a good balance.















We do a little bit of school at home and there are times when I think, "Is the energy I put into teaching her these things worth it? Am I off balance in even trying to expose her to this stuff??" Especially when I ask Canaan at dinner, "Tell your dad what letter we learned today!" (Silence.) "It sounds like p p p p..." (Nothing.) "We ate popcorn..." (And here it comes, "Remember when we saw that llama on my birthday last year? It was so weird.") While she may not be able to recite her letters or numbers or colors or periodic table yet, it's ok. Because I think we've provided a good balance of great experiences (however weird that llama really was) and the opportunity for her brain to grow in other ways (like drawing this little person crossing the broken bridge we were on that morning).

Or to choreograph a dance to Chris Brown with her dad.

Canaan literally learns the art of balancing in a tree at Piedmont Park with her Grandpa.

Shiloh learns how to balance precariously on the railing of the bridge.

While Tim and I learn the balance of marriage, kids, jobs, church, friends, and family every day.

Sometimes that balance isn't a 50/50 split, but rather providing spurts of quality time here and there.











And it makes everyone happy!











However, there are times when "Quality Time" seems to have failed miserably.

Like our visit to the Shriner's Circus.









Under the barrage of elephants and cotton candy and motorcyclists, lay the constant threat of clowns.

Canaan told us, "I don't think I like those clowns."








Shiloh shared in that apprehension. Not only were they clowns, but they were also the type of clowns that didn't quite make it to "The Big Top" of Ringling Brothers. Instead, these guys were the crowning glory of "Dollar Night: Also Known As Adult Group Home Night and Teenage Mom Night."






But quality time in this instance was focused around quality friends, not necessarily the quality of the death-defying feats preformed on a tight wire located nine heart-stopping feet above ground.








Quality friends who were especially cute, like Moses Bardin.











Or life time friends like Joy and Gracie Bardin, who also shared in the healthy fear of those clowns. All except Mr. Greg, who embraced those clowns.










I also find myself balancing "moo-vie" time (with favorites like Sleeping Beauty or Ariel topping the charts) and exercise time (like jumping on our trampoline).

Shiloh is up for anything.

Canaan tends to go into the "Brain Shutdown Mode" at which point it's like falling in love with your kidnapper: I think, "GREAT! I can check some emails and facebook and hulu..." but at the same time I'm thinking, "Oh no. Brain power oozing away..."






Then I think, "But if it's educational, surely that counts a little more?"

Like when we got up at 5:30, dressed in wedding attire, had tea and scones to watch the Royal Wedding.








Aunt Sarah was in her British Attire while Nana provided crowns. That was three hours of educational experience.

So TV and movies are another factor I'm constantly balancing. But I err on the side of "of course!" when David Beckham and Kate's Dress are involved.

A final balancing act: do I pursue a career where I'm maybe climbing the corporate ladder or becoming involved with an awesome ministry like North Point? Or do I stay at home with the girls until they get to school? Or can I do both??

Questions whose answers will probably keep changing throughout the years.

Like our good ole' boys, The Braves.

Do we keep holding out for another World Series like in the Glory Days of 95? Or do we resign ourselves to the fact that we mostly attend the games in hopes of seeing a drunken brawl or catch a foul ball?

While the end results may be unclear, at least we can live a balanced life where the day-to-day experiences are adding value to our marriage, our kids, our friends and family, and especially to God.

Because even God loves cotton candy. Probably.

And when I think of all the plugging away at laundry and groceries and letters and numbers and poopy diapers, there are times like in this video when I think, "This is a GREAT balance. It's totally worth it!!"

Shiloh Goes to the Beach

We begin our beach trip to St. Simon's with the rental of a 15 passenger van. I have always dismissed a 15 passenger van on the grounds of overwhelming lameness, but when one baby, one two-year old, one tweenager, five adults, 87 bags, one crab trap, and every beach accessory imaginable needs to go somewhere, only the church van will do.

To commemorate Shiloh's first beach experience, we drop the bags off at the hotel, then quick head to the beach. And by "quick" I mean two hours worth of changing, lathering, packing, spanking, crying, and then videoing.

Shiloh's first beach experience, "Not bad," she decides. "I could use a little sun on my upper thighs, anyway."

The next day we shop. Here, Nana rejoices in the fact that finally the women are outnumbering the men in the Goodwin Family. Since living with three boys and a husband for so long, the estrogen is making a comeback. Our motto this trip, "Uterus' Unite!"

Canaan's motto this trip, "Is this Disney World?" "No, this is just a giant umbrella at St. Simon's."

Disney World: it begs the question of When Is The Right Age Where They'll Remember The Trip Of A Lifetime Yet Still Believe Mickey Is A Real Mouse? And what about Shiloh? Do we bring her, knowing that she'll sleep during the parade and cry during the pictures with The Characters? If we left her with grandparents, is it fair that for Shiloh's whole life she'll have been to Disney World one less time than Canaan? Is Fairness really something to be achieved as a parent??

Should I be constantly tallying up the score, "Canaan got her face painted as a pink fairy, it's only fitting that Shiloh should get her face painted as a purple fairy"?

Shiloh just got two new bathing suits, now to the consignment store to find two new bathing suits for Canaan? A picture of Shiloh, now for the picture of Canaan? Canaan's 6 month picture in the hall, now Shiloh's 6 month picture in the hall?

Is fairness really attainable?

Fairness: since I elected to stay in the van while Shiloh slept for 40 minutes, then YOU get to watch the kids while I lay out on the beach for 40 minutes.

Sounds promising, but who could keep up with that endless score board?

So we decided that the Fairness Motto will be: Fairness Ended in the Garden of Eden. We don't do Fair. We do What's Right.

And right now, Canaan, you'll get another spanking if you throw sand at Shiloh again.

Because Shiloh already has a whole bucket of sand, just waiting to be eaten.

While we did have to manage the occasional sand incident, mostly Canaan loved to show Shiloh everything beach, "LOOK Shiloh! Sand/Water/Shovel/Gum/Dead Crab/Jelly Fish Tentacle!!!!"

Canaan's first time at the beach consisted of what we called "Sand Shooters"--handfuls of sand that made it to the mouth quicker than you could possibly encourage them to think twice about the ramifications of what they're about to do.

Shiloh preferred the "Social Sand Eater" method--occasionally a sand particle or two made it to the mouth, but mostly the sand just hovered around, making it's appearance and causing everyone to think you really know what you're doing when actually, you're still figuring out how to inhale/get the sand off your hands.

Here, the girls discuss various methods for sand consumption, the latest read: Water for Elephants, as well as whose elbow dimple is more pronounced.

Shiloh's favorite part of the beach: playing in the sand. Canaan's favorite part: "The Jelly Fish. You have to be careful so they don't sting you," she advised every passer by as we would sit poking the numerous washed up jelly fishes.

At the end of a day at the beach, the girls loved to snuggle, reading books or watching Blue's Clues. While the rest of us went out for margaritas. Just kidding. Not really.

The guys did enjoy their occasional drink on the beach. By "occasional" I also mean "After this Miller, could you mix me another Painkiller?"

Pictured here: Josh, Dad, Kevin, and Tim, the Goodwin men.

Tim, never too manly to teach his daughter how to fly her Ariel the Little Mermaid kite. He's a good dad. And good-looking.

Nana and Pop-pop proudly hold their two youngest granddaughters before we head to dinner on the pier.

Canaan proudly explaining to her sister how a "Croc-a-la-tor" couldn't possibly crawl through the marshy undergrowth, across what seems to be an actual crocodile/alligator nest, up to the picnic benches to eat us because I have this purple flower to keep them away.

See, that pile of fish heads over there actually deters croc-a-la-tors from coming up here!

Shiloh: "It all makes perfect sense!"

To conclude a fabulous beach trip, the Goodwin's assemble for a family portrait, to replace the one taken years ago when Tim and I were collectively 120 pounds porkier, Courtney was 5, Shiloh and Canaan were simply a twinkle in our fat eyeballs, Sarah still lived with her parent's, and everyone's hair styles screamed, "Help! I've time-traveled from the early 90's!"

This one will now have a permanent place on the wall.

And so will this one: Shiloh's smiley face and Canaan's deliberating her next move to get to Disney World finally.

Or maybe this one: the love between sisters!

Or this family picture: "Are we looking at the camera or are our eyes actually closed?"

This one will definataley make the wall: a tribute to women and the jeans that make them the sassy women they are!

Or maybe this picture of two little pairs of feet that will never be that small again, so enjoy every moment.

Or perhaps I should just put this picture on my bathroom mirror, summing up the life lessons of our Beach Trip: while it would be nice if life was perfectly fair, and I equally divided my time amongst my children and husband, and the pictures of child #1 were exactly the same amount as child #2, and we went to Disney 7 times with each child, and I had 40 minutes of read a book on the beach time and Tim had 40 minutes of throw a football on the beach time, unfortunatley, Fairness Ended In The Garden of Eden. Instead, I'll simply focus on doing what is right. And if my 2 year old finds the sticker box while I'm trying to do some laundry, the right thing to do is just tell her, "Wow! That is one cool sticker leg!!"