The Days are Long but the Years are Short

As a young mother, I have heard the mantra meant to keep us trucking during these little years of growing our family, "The days are long, but the years are short."

On top of that, I'd like to add, "The summer is short as well, but when the heat and humidity kicks it up to a eyeball-scorching 148 degrees, it makes the days feel like you're living in eternity--and not the good kind we all hope to live in."

So we have to fill the days with fun things--like Piedmont Park, our favorite spot in Atlanta. 

EVERY time we go, I envision flying a kite in the beautiful blue sky, but when it comes down to it, I just can't spend more than $4.99 on a kite.  

Thus, Shiloh and I end up laughing as Tim and Canaan run amok trying to keep it afloat.

Just another memory we log away for the years ahead when we look back thinking, "Those little years just flew by..."

And to create memories for our kids during these little years, we indulge them (sometimes.) With giant lollipops and Braves games.

And "Treasure Hunting" (also known as Geo Caching.)

Also known as "How Far Will You Reach Into the Dark and Ominous Underbrush To Retrieve The Elusive Box" game.

A favorite summer memory of mine was spending three months every year at the lake in Minnesota--one which we've begun to recreate for our kids. 

Minnesota's mantra was, "The Days are Long, but the Nights When the Mosquitoes Are Swarming In Your Ear Are Even Longer." 

We love the Minnesota Cousins.  A true Girl Posse.

And the Fourth of July--another family favorite to make memories for our kids.

Including the Boat Parade, where our family and friends think of a theme to decorate the boat and float around the lake for hours, shooting water balloons at unsuspecting passer-bys.

Some may think of themes like, "The Stars and Stripes Forever" or "Freedom from Al Qaida"

But my Aunt Beth and Uncle Roy think bigger.

They think, "Red Solo Cup"--with actual solo cups floating in the breeze and matching shirts for all 30 of us to wear on the Big Day of Freedom.

We realized that the memories we are building for our kids now will become a part of their story later.

So why not let them smash cupcakes in each other's faces every now and then?  

Or ruin their brand new white shirts while wrangling their Aunt Cindy's horses at the farm?

We've only got a few years to create a home that they'd want to return to when they're grown.

So we live it up with friends like Uncle Michael and Aunt Amy.

Running in the mud with bare feet and getting buried in the dirt.

And when your kids cash out in the middle of the floor, I take it as a sign that some good memories have been made for the day.

While those "short years" quickly add up to the "expensive years," Dave Ramsey has helped us learn to live life with an open hand, freely giving, freely receiving (and freely paying off the rest of our student loans as well as the monthly gymnastics fee.)

We love the days we're living now, but honestly, we look forward to the years ahead when we own land.  

So we go to the Art Barn and pretend that we have goats...

and baby chicks, naming one Shiloh since it was born on her birthday.

And pretending to drive the tractor and harvest the fields.  Looking fabulously cute the whole time.

So we go home, reminded to keep pressing forward in our goals so we can get there one day.

For now, we fill those "long days" with naked Barbies and one-armed Ken dolls.

Zoe, the cat, wishes the long days weren't filled with so many "snuggles" and tiny girls disturbing her sleep by "tucking her in with this blanket" and constant barraging by "her best friend Shiloh."

Long days don't seem that long when you have your closest friends to play Robin and Merliah, the Super Princess Mermaid with.

Or when you have your sister to sit on the curb and enjoy the evening with.

Or when you have your best friend who happens to be your hubs with you every day of these memorable years.

Or when you are awaiting the arrival of your third baby, a surprise due in November.

That makes those long days seem a little shorter, in the hopes that these little years will last a bit longer.

Being a Mom

I have now been a mom for almost 4 years, not counting gestational "mom-time." Being a mom has been different/special/extraordinary/challenging/blessing...all those words you may hear about motherhood. 

But for me, it's also been a re-inventing of what motherhood looks like.

 

My mother passed away when I was four, my brother was two, and my sister was a month old.  She was diagnosed with cancer while pregnant with my sister and chose to keep her, take Tylenol, and say good-bye. So being a mother to my two girls is a journey I feel like I'm inventing as I go.

Thankfully, I have as sister-in-law who I can confide in and say, "Shiloh was beating a little boy at Canaan's school with the ring-toss stick yesterday.  She was half his size!" I can discipline Shiloh, but laugh about it with Sarah and she doesn't think I'm a "loose mom."

We've got family who rolls their eyes with me when Canaan barely finishes her First Race Ever.

That would be due to her stopping half-way to poop.  

I've got an incredible husband who takes one for the team and runs her to the closest building, sits with her in the bathroom, telling a story while she does her job, then runs her back to the race to finish dead-last.  But hey, we tote the motto, "Try Hard and Do Your Best" rather than "Be an Olympian and Make Us Proud."

We're thankful for good kids--like Shiloh, who believes she's running for some sort of office--president of 2042, VP of student body government, or simply Queen of the Playground.  Her winning smile, and compelling attitude make it hard not to Vote for Shiloh.  

Plus, she's always prepared with a speech, enticing us to give her more noodles, regardless of how many vegetables she ate for dinner.

We've got an entertaining (almost) four year old who always has a Great Plan.  Canaan's plan includes anywhere from one to 394 people, a variety of props not excluding the cat, at least 24 costume changes, lots of jumping on the "trampa-zine" to get the creative juices flowing, and leaves us thinking, "We may have the next George Lucas on our hands."

And here she is--in her element, creating the next Avatar.

Being a mom of these two is a blast.

Even when it comes to potty training. Whether it takes a year (Canaan) or three days (Shiloh), as long as the end result is poop in the potty so I don't have to clean it up anymore, I'm in it for the long haul.

I'm incredibly thankful that God has blessed me with the health and ability to live life with my family.  I wouldn't want to miss these moments--sisters on the fence looking at the deer.

Or dying their hair in the bathtub, hoping they look like Barbie in Mermaidia.

Or St. Patty's day when the leprechaun mysteriously snuck into our house to give them gold coins that happened to look just like the ones from a year ago but also quickly vanished so no one actually got to eat them.

But unfortunately, there are some moms who miss out on all this.  Whether that mom is sick, mentally not capable, gone due to custody issues, or literally is never coming back, there are simply some mothers who are not there.

As I'm navigating motherhood without a biological mother, I'm realizing that the role of Mom is one of the most vital roles a woman could ever partake in, and is also a role that will never be absent from your life.

While I didn't have much time to get to know my mother's personality, it's the role I miss most.

Do my kids act like me when I was young? What was your first thought when we were born?  How did you navigate the temper tantrums I had??  I would love for her to know her granddaughters.  I would love for her to see me as a mom. I would love for her to see Tim as a dad.

And so I realize that while I have many wonderful mothers (my Aunt Beth, my mother-in law Jill, my step-mother Kathryn, my mom's sisters, even my dad), I still remember and miss my own mother, 27 years later.

Which makes me believe that the ROLE of being a mother is infinitely more important than WHO you are as a mother.  Whether we loose our patience, or yell at our kids, or sit them in time out for smearing mud on the walls, or the nice things in your house are broken, all those mistakes we make become small in the light of WHAT you are.

Their mother.  Our character can always change, who we are will hopefully always be improving, but the role we play as a mother supersedes our weaknesses as a person.

  And we are blessed to announce I'll be a mother again in November!

Go moms.